I won't forget today.

I had a big fight with my dad. My dad almost beat me today. He said I had looked down on him after he had worked and paid money for my studies. I was crying like a baby today. I had never think that before. I'm working really hard is not for myself. Why i want to work so hard? Is because for you all. I can't stand to see you got bullied by other friends as they tried to use you. I see you always work even your leg is pain and barely can walk. the most i can't stand is you vent your anger on my mother when you feel moody due to work. how to solve all this? Yes if i am capable of supporting you all so you all don't need to work. you think i don't want a relationship now? i can get one if i want. but i choose not to. so i can commit more time to my work and further studies. so i can earn more next time to support you all. you think i like to do all this? i'm still doing work on sat and sun even is just my first week of work. but all i get is i potrayed to him that i looked down on him. yes i didn't respect you this time. so did you respect my mum? ask her to help u wash leg when my mum just did eye operation and she needs ample rest? talk about respect. thanks blog. you are always hear for me when i needed someone.

Breast Cancer Public Forum

Assigned as team leader for tomorrow? What am i supposed to do? Scary yet exciting. Hope I can do a good job tomorrow.

"You are too honest. Why you so stupid?"

I really hate the ugly world I live in. I was scolded by my mum for my stupidness. I know I am stupid, I'm useless or whatever. I failed my interview. I failed at everything. I think that's what my mum think of me. I admit I'm still now leeching off my parent's expenses. I wanted to work. I already send out all the job applications whatever I CAN FIND ON JOBSTREET JOBCENTRAL JOBSDB NEWSPAPER WADEVER. But no one wants to reply me. This morning, there is an auntie who knocked the door and said she had 5 children who she needs to take care of. She wanted $30 in exchange of some sausauges. I give her the $30 without hesitation not because I nvr thought that if she was lying to me. BUT I RATHER HELP THAN DUN HELP. WHAT IF EVERYONE THINKS SHE IS LYING? WHERE SHE GETS HELP? WHAT IF WHAT SHE IS SAYING IS TRUE? SINCE I AM BETTER OFF FINANCIALLY WHY CAN"T I JUST SPARE THE FREAKING 30 DOLLARS TO HELP HER? IT"S NOT LIKE EVERYDAY THING. IT"S MY MONEY ANYWAY. EVEN SHE IS LYING. I"M WILLING TO GIVE. I"M NOT STUPID BUT I"M KIND ENOUGH TO RISK IT CAUSE IT MIGHT SAVE A FEW LIVES. FUCK THIS WORLD...